Be Adaptable
Guess what, there are many things out of your control. This step is probably the one that makes me feel the most helpless. Life has a way of throwing bullshit your way and you have to learn to swerve left and right because you cannot get caught up in it. There is no time and energy to give. However, when these events or things are so close to your heart, sometimes there is no way of evading the pain and sadness. So, you live and you learn and hope to get stronger through the process.
There are three painful experiences that led me down a path of sadness. Each touch on moments in which I felt blind sighted and helpless, but these three experiences have taught me lessons I will never forget.​
1. car accident
2. my first heartbreak
3. lack of discipline
Surprise! Did I get your attention? Because that was my intention. Is this a real picture? Yes. Was I still in the car? Yes. Was I gravely hurt? Yes. Could I have died? Some say yes, I choose to focus on the fact I survived. So what happens when life decides to throw you into a car accident, to have you break several bones, to suffer from internal bleeding and lacerated organs, and end up traumatized? Well, I'll say I'm 100% recuperated-- physically that is. It's been a little bit over two years since this picture was taken. It feels like it was yesterday. I ended taking my sophomore spring off to focus on my physical and mental healing. I was surrounded by my parents and two siblings at home and countless other friends who always checked in on me.
I have taken this accident to be a blessing in disguise. I've been able to squeeze in more pre-med requirements, I have made new friends, I have learned more about my body, I have gained more empathy for those who have disabilities and/or have a mental illness, and I became surer of my goal to become a doctor. All I have to say is that it's funny how the world works.
I debated whether to share my first heartbreak here. Not because it wasn't an experience that taught me adaptability, but because I fear to be viewed as weak. Interesting how I have been conditioned to think that expressing pain as a result of heartbreak is weak, but here we are.
​
My three-year relationship came to an end like it was supposed to. I learned to define my partner's behavior as toxic and emotionally abusive. I learned to never put up with it again-- from anyone. I learned it hurts to love someone who caused you pain. I learned this is a bruise I'll carry wherever I go.
For one of my anthropology classes, I interviewed women of color who were or no longer pre-med. An informant shared a reason for why she has struggled to succeed academically at Williams, This reason is unique in comparison to other responses because it is not tied to a perceived inner lack of anything. Her belief is that discipline was something she was not taught in high school. The ability to concentrate on assignments that no longer take an hour to complete, but rather days to complete takes skill. Below is an excerpt of her response.
Adaptability needs to take different forms. It requires the ability to take a step back and identify the bigger picture. I can only imagine my life as a doctor to require moments of adaptability that will no longer just affect me, but their lives as well.